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Author Topic: 2nd version  (Read 2754 times)
Radical Raccoon
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« on: January 20, 2005, 12:18:30 AM »

I've been working on that song that I posted here back in October.

It's still far from perfection, but there's been some good improvements on it.

http://killfest.sytes.net/deltacode/The%20Stormy%20Fields.mp3


No drums yet, but soon.

I'd be happy to hear any comments. If you think it sucks, that's fine with me (I think it's pretty lame too), on the other hand I wouldn't mind some good feedback and constructive critism.
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aetherfox
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« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2005, 06:08:55 AM »

Couple of things:

1) I could not understand a single lyric.  There are a few remedies:
   - Instead of recording singing and guitar at the same time, layer them.  Record the guitar, then , play it back and while it's playing back through headphones or something, sing over.  Then touch up the singing in Audition or Acid or something.
   - Sing louder and more confidently.  It sounds like you are shy and scared to sing.

2) Add some flair to the strumming.  It gets a little monotonous after the first minute.

3) Use a metronome...your tempo is not constant.

4) There are lots of parts where I felt harmony background vocals would have done justice to the song.  This also goes for some harmonic guitar melodies playing over the main song.

5) In the interlude with the little guitar solo, have something going over the back.  Maybe when there is some percussion, it will be fine, but for now it sounds empty.

6) You might not have a bass guitar, so record your guitar playing the bassline, and while maintaining speed, reduce the pitch by 12 semitones (1 octave), and it sounds perfect.  Although you'd like to have 2 octaves, it sounds real crap in my experience.

7) I like the semi-mode change and the chord progressions in it quite a lot.  Experiment with hammering in and out of sevenths and suspended chords to give a little more excitement when you are strumming a chord for more than 4 beats.

Can't think of anything else.
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avinash.vora - http://www.avinashv.net
jsmith71
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« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2005, 07:32:13 AM »

Well, I disagree with aetherfox on the vocals. I can understand almost all of the lyrics perfectly fine... (though it certainly is a good idea to record the vocals seperately and layer them over the music) And is it just me, or does almost every song posted here, on TBN, Annihilatormetal, etc... Get at least one comment of "sing louder, you sound like you're afraid of being heard"?
Half the time that just doesn't seem to be the case to me... at all... Seems especially strange when, like with that song I posted awhile back ('song'... that sampled thrash one), I was there during the recording and the vocalist was screaming at the top of his lungs.
But anyway...
I REALLY like the vocal melody, haunting but calming at the same time... Though like Aetherfox said, the tempo seems to fluctuate quite a bit and the excessively simple strumming pattern does get boring.
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aetherfox
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« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2005, 02:22:59 PM »

That's because that's what it sounds like to me.  Anyway, while I might have exaggerated a little, it's definately not at the level of singalong with lyrics.

There's too much riding on opinion anyway.
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