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Author Topic: Anyone write?  (Read 40380 times)
NovaProgramming
Been there, done that
*****
Posts: 1025



« Reply #30 on: January 06, 2005, 06:57:59 PM »

Quote from: "speedlemon"
you want to read about 1.5 paragraphs thats seriously retarded compared to all the stories here.


Okay, now you're just being mean
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ovaProgramming.

One night I had a dream where I was breaking balls.  The next morning, BALLSBREAKER was born.

Quote from: "Haye, Phillip J."
 Excellent.  Now you can have things without paying for them.

BALLSBREAKER 2
~-_-Status Report-_-~
Engine: 94%
Graphics: 95%
Sound: 100%
A Severe Error has crippled BB2 for the time being... I have to figure it out, but until then you won't see much of it Sad.
-----------------------------
speedlemon
I hold this place together
*****
Posts: 874



« Reply #31 on: January 06, 2005, 07:00:40 PM »

im very sorry if you misunderstood me. i thought rockuman wanted to read one of my stories. and i was talking about my stories.  i never meant yours was retarded. that would be mean.  sorry. :oops:

btw-
your sig's about penguins too. nvm though
and your old one about  
that is a penguin or something
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Rokkuman
Na_th_an
*****
Posts: 1973



« Reply #32 on: January 06, 2005, 07:01:46 PM »

Yes, speedlemon. I still want to read your story. o^_^o
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speedlemon
I hold this place together
*****
Posts: 874



« Reply #33 on: January 06, 2005, 07:03:41 PM »

i got to get it off my other computer. and ill pm it to you to avoid public embarasment. please if i give it to you, you cant show anyone else
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NovaProgramming
Been there, done that
*****
Posts: 1025



« Reply #34 on: January 06, 2005, 10:25:57 PM »

And by not show it to anyone esle, he of course means show it to ME Cheesy
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ovaProgramming.

One night I had a dream where I was breaking balls.  The next morning, BALLSBREAKER was born.

Quote from: "Haye, Phillip J."
 Excellent.  Now you can have things without paying for them.

BALLSBREAKER 2
~-_-Status Report-_-~
Engine: 94%
Graphics: 95%
Sound: 100%
A Severe Error has crippled BB2 for the time being... I have to figure it out, but until then you won't see much of it Sad.
-----------------------------
barok
Na_th_an
*****
Posts: 1727


How about a tasty lead sandwich?


« Reply #35 on: January 07, 2005, 02:17:10 AM »

Speedlemon left qbasicville with his hands in his pocket as he quietly contemplated his new problem.  His friends wanted him to write a story, yet he believed he couldn't.

"My stories suck," thought Speedlemon.  "Why would people want to read them?  I just don't understand those guys sometimes...  Why can't they just be happy with a box that smells like motor oil?"  

Quietly he walked down a random path, the only sound being that of his feet scraping the ground.  Then he stopped.  For a second, he thought he heard something else.  Speedlemon thought about looking around, searching for something that could possibly be following him.  Then he shook his head.  

"No one else is around..."  he thought.  "Why would anyone else be around?  With the great succession of Freebasic, Qbasicville is now almost deserted.  I must be hearing things."  Speedlemon shook his head.  Great!  Not only was he in trouble because he believed he couldn't write, but he was hearing things as well!

For the next few moments Speedlemon sulked around a road in Freebasica.  He was so preoccupied with his thoughts that he didn't seem to notice that a second scraping sound had started up, and a shadow was falling over him...

someone else finish this.  I don't have the time. Tongue
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Jumping Jahoolipers!
Pc72
Forum Regular
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Posts: 101



WWW
« Reply #36 on: January 07, 2005, 03:50:11 AM »

I've been writing ever since my grandma taught me to write.  I still have a few stories I've typed back when I was around 6 or so... We had an old typewriter back in Stary Oskol, and it allowed me to become used to keyboards, before I got my first computer four years later.  Since then, the best things I've written so far are the stories about Ahib Al-Mushman, which I'm gradually turning to manuscripts for my comics.
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url=http://www.google.com/search?q=%22Ain%27t+I+weird%3F%22&start=10]Ain't I Weird?[/url]
Jofers
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Posts: 1040



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« Reply #37 on: January 07, 2005, 04:27:59 PM »

*shrug*

"You don't write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say."
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moochthemonkey
I hold this place together
*****
Posts: 801



« Reply #38 on: January 07, 2005, 09:40:10 PM »

i wrote a couple of fantasy like stories when I was back into the games final fantasy, but they kinda sucked since my grammar is horrid and I have no writing structure.
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quote="na_th_an"]
Greenday, Spice Girls... Can you tell the difference?
[/quote]
jsmith71
Been there, done that
*****
Posts: 1004


« Reply #39 on: January 07, 2005, 09:51:42 PM »

Quote from: "Jofers"
*shrug*

"You don't write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say."

What if I want to say something, but have nothing to say, and just want to write?  :wink:
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Mech1031
Na_th_an
*****
Posts: 1536



WWW
« Reply #40 on: January 07, 2005, 10:05:37 PM »

Quote from: "Josiah Tobin"
Quote from: "Jofers"
*shrug*

"You don't write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say."

What if I want to say something, but have nothing to say, and just want to write?  :wink:


then write Tongue  Most the times i write jibberish cause i'm bored anyway, and sometimes it turns into a poem or song lyrics that are halfway decent.  if we only wrote what we 'had' to say, then reading would be boring Wink
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the mind is a beautiful thing, use it and make the world a more beautiful place.
jsmith71
Been there, done that
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Posts: 1004


« Reply #41 on: January 07, 2005, 11:01:16 PM »

True and well put.
*writes some gibberish*
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Mech1031
Na_th_an
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Posts: 1536



WWW
« Reply #42 on: January 08, 2005, 12:17:04 AM »

Ok, so i wrote some more (despite the fact that i have had no time to write whatsoever).  just though't i'd post it for the heck of it.

Quote from: "Part of Chapter 1"

Chapter 1:  A Parable of sorts…


The room was dimly lit with the moon’s reflection, and it was hard to make out any distinct figures.  He looked around and nobody was to be found in the bar.  He got up off the floor and stood dazed for a moment or two.  It was very dark, and he had a hard time getting coordinated, but after a few stumbles and a near-fall, he was balanced.  He stood still for a moment or two to let his eyes adjust.

He suddenly realized that he wasn’t in the bar anymore, there was a bed, a dresser, and a grandfather clock in the room he was in.  It took him a moment, but he soon recognized his surroundings to be his own bedroom.  “One of the guys musta brought me home” he said to himself.

His head was still pounding from that bottle that fell on him.  It felt like his skull was as soft as a plush toy, and his skin was on fire.  He tried to stop thinking about it, but the pain was too much.  Every move was another nail on the chalkboard.  He decided to get some ibuprofen for it.

He took a step forward and bumped his shin into the end of his bed.  The pain seared slowly up his body as a slight hissing sound came from the back of his throat.  Something fell off his dresser and made a loud cracking noise as it hit the floor.  This caused Ben to cringe in his hung-over state.  The sound echoed through his head as if it were a trumpet in an coliseum.

He slowly (and cautiously) made his way over to the dresser to see just what had fallen off.  It was his watch he got from his great grandmother some time ago.  He reached for the lamp switch on his dresser to see if it had broken.  He finally came across the slender silk rope that triggered the bulb and gave it a light tug.  The sudden light blinded him momentarily, but it’s affect didn’t last long at all.

<<“Thanks for the watch GiGi, even if it isn’t my style, I’ll still wear it for ya”
“It isn’t your style?  C’mon, you live to be tacky!”
”Oh GiGi, thanks for the ‘compliment’”
“any time ben, any time.  Just don’t forget that I was the one who gave it to you”
“why would I forget that?”
”I know you too well Ben, Your worse than a 80 year old man with alzheimer's”
“GiGi…”>>


And then, the memory faded as quickly as it came.  It was true though; Ben suffered from severe memory lapses and ADD.  This made it very hard for him when he was still going through grad school.  Yet somehow, he managed to get through those days.  Actually, living day to day now was a bit of a chore.  He set the watch back down on the dresser and made his way into the hall.

The carpet felt cold against his feet, but with every shuffle, there was a warm sensation caused by the friction.  Even though the noise was currently unbearable for his pounding headache, it still felt good.  He passed 2 rooms on his way to the stairs, one was his study, he remembered all the sleepless nights he spent in there prepping for the next class he had to take for his bachelors.  The other was the bathroom, another sensation fell over him, and he rememberd…

<<”Get it together Ben, Jesus Christ!!!  I know I’m not crazy, that voice in my head is just my conscious.  He doesn’t really tell me to…to do things.  Its all an unspeakable lie!!!  Aw man, I’ve only got 46 hours left to finish that book, I’ll never make it!  Why does everything happen to ME?!”>>

This memory also begins to fade now.  He often had these “flashbacks”, the doctors said it was his memory catching up to him.  Ben didn’t believe that, Ben didn’t even believe there was something wrong with him.  He’d much rather forget then be troubled with remembering it, as he always said.

Without realizing it, Ben had walked to the top of the stairs.  He stood there for a minute or two, and then shook his head, as if he were “snapping out of it.”  The steps were made of oak, and it was an unwelcome change from the soft carpet.  The steps were also ice cold, he must have forgotten to pay the heating bill, because he realized that he was very cold as well.

He picked up the pace and jogged down the rest of the stairs and into the kitchen.  Just above the breadbox on the counter were some pills labeled “ibuprofen”.  He popped a few out and chocked them down without any water.  They tasted like chalk dust, and felt bad going down.  But that feeling faded for he knew they would soon take their numbing effect.

He then ventured across the slick tile the kitchen floor was made out of, into the shag carpeting of his living room.  He plopped down on his favorite chair and tried to remember what happened last night, or tonight, whichever it was.  It was hard, but he thought there was some significance to it, so he kept trying.

“Something about…about…a hero.  I remember someone saying something about a hero.  Was I hungry?” he said to himself in the dark.  “Or was it…Wait, there was a man, someone I knew from a long time ago… I was talking to him.” More was coming to him, but nothing clear yet.  “Did he want to go get a hero with me sometime?  Who am I kidding, this Is more than pointless.”

He leaned back and reclined in the chair.  He tried his best to remember, but nothing was there.  It was almost as if the night never happened.  The moon was now low and the sun was rising through the window and into his living room.  It reflected off the TV screen and into his eyes.  He could care less though, he just sat there enjoying the silence.

At that moment, the phone rang.  Ben jumped so high he almost hit his head on the ceiling.  Still surprised by the sudden noise, he composed himself enough to pick up the receiver.  “Hello Mr. Prescof, it seems that you may or may not be satisfied with your current long distance service.” Said a calm soothing voice on the other end of the line.  Ben stumbled over his own sentence and said “Why calling your at this early?”  There was a momentary pause on the other end, and then an “Excuse me?”.

Ben reformed the words in his head and said it right this time.  “Why are you calling this early.”  The person on the other end stammered for a moment and said “well, it’s 12:30 pm here in Hawaii…”  Ben didn’t know wether to yell or to just hang up.  He decided to play along though.  “I’m afraid I am satisfied with it, so good bye.”  Before he could hang up, the person on the other end whispered out the following: “Don’t be a hero Ben…”

Then the line went dead.  Ben sat in the chair without moving, he was completely frozen.  His tried to hang up the phone but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. “…Don’t be a hero…I remember now.”

<<Ben… Ben?  Wake up!  Oh man, that bottle done knocked him unconscious.  Somebody get some warm towels or something!  What am I saying, he’s passed out, not giving birth…

“Don’t you worry about Ben, I’ll take him to the hospital, I was going there anyway”
“I don’t think I’ve seen you before, who are you?”
”lets just say I’m one of Ben’s good friends…”>>

   Ben remembered now, even though he was unconscious, he could still hear.  He recognized the voice as the stranger’s.  Ben couldn’t figure out why that stranger was so obsessed with him.  Or what he wanted exactly.  He did respect the strangers generosity though, whatever he was doing, it seemed like it was for Ben’s well being.  This gave Ben newfound sense of confidence; it felt good knowing someone was on his side.

   He looked down at his wristwatch, it was 5:32.  “Oh man, I gotta be at work in a half hour!”  He ran as fast as he could up the stairs to get dressed.  With his head through his sleeve and his tie wrapped around his ankle, he flew back down the stairs.  He whirred past the kitchen and grabbed a bran muffin on the way by with his car keys.  And someway, somehow, he managed to straighten himself out before he got into the car.

   Once he was in the car, he ate the muffin in one bite and floored it to work (which was a half-hour away from where he lived).  His morning ride wasn’t anything out of the usual, although after the recent happenings, been was half-expecting something along the lines of a flat tire (to say the least).  Luckily for him, nothing of the sort happened, and he got to work with 1 minute to spare.

   He walked in and was greeted by the overweight secretary with a “Howdya do there mr. Prescof, I got yer coffe on yer desk this here morning, I figured you would end up bein late.”  Ben just gave a wave and a head nod as if to say “Sure, Thanks.”  He walked past the secretaries desk and past the 5 cubicles along the way to his office.  Each cubicle had a different story to tell.

   Cubicle 1 was filled with the “over-achiever”.  You didn’t even have to look at his record to know this, you just had to look into his cubicle.  There were motivational posters hung everywhere with slogans such as “Hang in there” and “Keep Truckin”.  Each poster had a goofy picture of bill gates on it in a stupid “thumbs up” pose.  Ben despised the 1rst cubicle.

   Cubicle’s 2 and 3 were pretty much the same, except their records weren’t so clean.  They were always known for pulling a prank on the boss or going out to lunch but not asking anybody if they wanted anything.  4 and 5 were similar to each other.  Both were to cluttered to see into, so he could care less who (or what) was in those.

   He finally arrived at his office and opened the door.  Sure enough, the coffee was sitting on his desk with two sugars next to it and a stir.  “She’s worked for me for 3 years, and she still hasn’t figured out I take my coffee black.” He said with a smirk on his face.  He walked up to the coffee and jettisoned it out the window without giving it a second thought.
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the mind is a beautiful thing, use it and make the world a more beautiful place.
jsmith71
Been there, done that
*****
Posts: 1004


« Reply #43 on: January 08, 2005, 01:12:53 AM »

Like I said on msn, good job, solid overall.
You know, those bill gates posters with the stupid grin and thumbs-up would make tempting dartboards.
(nah, I'm not pointlessly hating on bill gates, but with that look on his face... haha)
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speedlemon
I hold this place together
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Posts: 874



« Reply #44 on: February 03, 2005, 10:04:03 PM »

i told rockuman that i would say my story. i hope no one cares that this is about a month old. i thought that if i made a new thread people would be mad too. so i just did this option. so here's my story. enjoy.



Quote
The Rats Down Under
   Well let’s see… where did this all begin?  Oh yah, it was a dark and stormy night when a little female villager mouse got taken captive by the Rats Down Under, a prestigious rat gang that dwelled in the sewers of the Rock Candy Mountain.  It was a dreadful night and already, two mice deaths had been reported, one mouse died in a machinery related incident, and the other mouse was on some sort of recon assignment into Mr. Brennan’s house when he got shot and injected with some sort of chemical agent.  As I was saying, it was a rather bad night, to be out-and-about in the storm and all, but to be out-and-about, about to mouse-nap someone would be quite the show.  The RCMPD’s (Rock Candy Mountain Police Department) detectives had come up with no leads on the kidnapping of little Angelina Ballerina, except that it was a rat from the Rats Down Under.  They had made this deduction because they had found thick tail prints that matched a rat.  They had then used the RTMS (Rodent Tail Matching System) to narrow it down to a RDU (Rats Down Under) member.
   That’s where I come in.  You see, I’m a private detective.  Nobody gets away with any crimes when I’m in town.  I am a private eye.  Nobody even tries to commit that many crimes because Rock Candy Mountain (otherwise known as RCM, which I will call it from now because my fingers aren’t as nimble as they used to be.) has a cruel punishment system.  They hang the criminal upside down and then beat his face until he walks into a human’s house on purpose.  Then you know what happens.  Bye, bye, adios amigos, au revoir, need I say more?  I am a super sleuth.
   So, where was I?  Oh yah, so when I got to the scene of the crime, I asked where the clues were.  Then the government detectives said that they didn’t find any solid evidence yet and that they hated private eyes.  Stupid government detectives.  My well earned money goes to paying mice detectives that served no real purpose in the whole scheme of things.
   So I guess it was all me from then on out.  I took out my brushing kit and started brushing the crime scene in search of tail markings. (You know, all rodents have different patterns on their tails, and you can tell them apart by looking at them carefully.)  I didn’t find any prints so that could only mean one thing; the culprit had a rubber tail warmer when he committed the crime.  I just couldn’t understand it, why wasn’t there any evidence?
   I took one last glance when I noticed a message etched into the ground it read, “DO NOT TRY TO FIND ME, FOR I TRY TO BE PERFECT AND AM SPECIAL.  GO ME.  I have the child.  P.S.  I’m not going to harm her.  Leave 100 pounds of cheese by Mr. Brennan’s front porch, if you ever want to see Angelina Ballerina again.”
   “Strange,” I said,”Very strange.”
   So I ordered a warrant for the arrest of all members of the RDU.  No one asked questions, they just let me do my thing.
   The RCMPD had custody of some of the RDU, but could only arrest three of them.  The RCMPD Warden said that he would let me do my thing.  The thing I’m good at.  I am a private eye.  The Warden knew I could find out who did it, he just knew I could, I knew I could.  I questioned each one and took these notes:

Constance Arboby:
   Full Name- Constance Marmalot Arboby
   Favorite Cheese- Kraft Singles
   Connection- RDU leader
   Alibi- None
   Age- 5.32 years
   Possible Motive- Wanted to make mice scared of the RDU
   Bio- Constance has been a criminal for his whole life          stealing anything he can get his hands on.              Anything from yellow cheese, to yellow gold, to          other mice!  When he was accused of the mouse-         napping, he almost hokked a loogie on me because          he was so mad.  He has been the leader of the RDU       since he was 2.1 years old.
Bogdan Adrenyay:
   Full Name- Bogdan Carzony Adrenyay
   Favorite Cheese- Swiss Classic
   Connection- Constance’s Top Advisor
   Alibi- He was playing Rat Poker Modified at the time of the    kidnapping.
   Age- 3.45
   Possible Motive- He was upset about the RDU Presidential    Leader and wanted to show Constance and the other RDU that    he could be the leader.
   Bio- Bogdan is Constance’s younger litter mate and is    always trying to show Constance up.  Obviously there is    some rivalry here.  He also seems to be jealous of his    brother since he is RDU leader.
Jarmon Rojic:
   Full Name- Jarmon Arman Rojic
   Favorite Cheese- Mozzarella with a twist
   Connection- Hunch Rat
    Alibi- He was working out of his favorite book- How to    Become a Better Evil Hunch Rat
   Age- 4.56
   Possible Motive- He kidnapped Angelina to become an even    better hunch rat.
   Bio- Jarmon has been a hunch rat ever since he could remember.  He has been arrested for selling rat poison,    contraband, etc.  Jarmon has no family so he is a rebel rat    that was found at a young age stealing cheese to survive.     Constance found him on the street and took him under his    wing (or claw) as “his own”.  The two of them have a    special relationship.  
[End Notepad]
   
   When I was done gathering notes, the Warden came up to me and said, “Well, I guess we have to release the RDU.”
“Not yet,” I said in a smug voice, “The kidnapper has practically given himself away!  Please arrest. . .”

WHO DID HE ARREST? AND HOW WAS HE SO SURE?
Find out on the next page.







      I arrested Jarmon Rojic for kidnapping Angelina Ballerina.  I knew because he was working out of a book about becoming a better hunch rat.  This gave him away to me when I checked the book out from my local public library.  In chapter 3, it talks about kidnapping mice to impress leaders and get promoted in your hunch rat career.  I then assumed that he was reading the book while kidnapping Angelina.  This would make his alibi true, but not completely true.  How exactly did the crime play out?  It was simple.  Rojic and Constance had dinner, but Rojic said he had to leave early and he did.  Rojic went to Angelina Ballerina’s house posing as a ballerina instructor and infiltrated the house.  He then through her into a bag and ran.  He was arrested and Angelina was recovered from the RDU’s hideout.  During her captivity, she was being stored in a glass jar.  Now she is doing well again and her family is happy.  Rojic is going to serve some real time if his trial goes correctly.

Gammatray Mouse signing off-
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